Almost forty years ago, when my second son was young, I started having dreams of an atomic bomb exploding. One time it was in a playground… another time I could see it in the distance. In every dream my son would be in my arms, my precious little baby, and I would be running and searching, experiencing tremendous fear. It was not a fear that he or we would die… it was a fear that his life would be worse than death, and I could not save him from it.
Well, no atomic bombs fell nearby, he lived and experienced easy and hard times, became daddy to two beautiful children, made a good life for himself and his family, and happily for me, he kept on loving his ‘spiritually minded’ mother.
I don’t know what triggered the dreams. It could have been that I was tapping into the fear of the collective mind… also could have been the arguments going on at the time regarding nuclear power. I remember asking a business executive, “What about the radioactive waste… what about future generations?” He responded, “By that time they’ll have figured out how to handle it.” I heard my inner voice say, “I could never get with this person… he’s an absolute idiot.”
Well… I was young. Idiots are not absolute… they can change. When the threat becomes immediate even the most cold-hearted can wake up… and I imagine quite a few have. But the point is, life has sent me into fear plenty of times, so I know how overwhelming, controlling and confining it can be. And the funny thing about it… there is no benefit to it: being aware, yes; perceiving danger, yes; avoiding danger, yes; but fear… it’s a lose/lose.
I haven’t had end of the world nightmares for a long time, but I have wondered… did I bring these beautiful innocent babies into a hell world. Today I’m pretty solid in the knowledge that while it may seem an awful lot like a hell world, it’s heaven world too, and we’re all born for the challenge… find your true self and evolve.
Can we manage to live without fear, and to raise our children without fear for them? I think we can come to terms with that, making enough progress to be able to see the beauty in this experience. We can also overcome a great deal of mental and emotional suffering and the resulting physical pain as well by attending to our liberation journey.
Most fear comes from re-living past trauma, and/or anticipating some imagined future trauma. Actual danger can be felt, but fear is primarily a mind thing, with people thinking and then emotionally reacting to their thoughts, trying to guess what will happen when. The opposite of oneness, fear is a very separating emotion and it leads to great errors in judgment.
Ideally, if we train ourselves to do so, we can rely on perception of energy and flow, and intuition and awareness. With fear out of the way, we have the possibility of clear judgment. Standing up to life with faith and trust in our inner divinity, knowledge and information that is real and pure, and wisdom and self empowerment that is gleaned from practice – this is the journey of the warrior.