States of mind… oh how they change. It would be nice if we could keep ourselves in mental and emotional balance… always. Never venturing too low, into the “why did I invite this major bullshit” inner dialogue; or soaring through the clouds in the, “OMG my life is a synchro paradise” trip; or maybe just some “geeze my heart is sad… and I don’t know why” awareness.
Frustration, bliss, or mystery melancholy… I don’t know about you, but for me the mood isn’t always the same. And at the outset I’d say, please don’t blame yourself if you’re not always copacetic. There’s a lot to this life, and we’re dealing with not just our own energy, but many other forces. Control system invasion, nasty people infection, financial collapse getting personal, health problems intercepting the flow… these do translate as spiritual battles.
We’re all in spiritual battles, and to my mind we’re pretty darn heroic just for engaging on a conscious level.
So what is the desirable state? You know what the talk is… are you balanced… stable… in the now? Even if today’s circumstances seem like a bumpy fall down a flight of stairs, and maybe somebody even pushed you; the way you experience these things can be warrior-like, sage-like, evolving, learning.
And more talk: the real you is not the person who wrestles with moods. The real you is the one observing you wrestling with the moods. If you slip into a dense energy state – doubt, frustration, emotion, reaction – you’re not connecting with your inner divinity.
Understand… I’m not making light of the talk. It’s real for me… the true journey. We’re geared toward self-responsibility and that’s beautiful. That’s where responsibility belongs. But we’re also conditioned to blame… maybe a bit too much. It’s that old ‘sin’ conditioning: external judge becomes internal one… the ego’s voice.
Remember when it used to be that sin was the problem… if you get sick, or robbed, or you’re in poverty, or pain… it’s God pointing out your sin to you? Going way back to high school, I recall when my best friend’s mother died from a very rare and painful immune system disease. Gossip at the church had it that the painful ending didn’t speak well of her – a faulty relationship with God must have been to blame. What nobody considered is that she had taken a job with a plastics manufacturer a few months earlier… just saying.
Then came the new age philosophies, i.e. your intention and feeling senses, your conscious and subconscious mind, your dense or refined energy and your good or bad karma are the all in the 3D mix of what you’re experiencing. Bottom line: you are never a victim… you are the ‘chooser’ of your life circumstances – it’s all you babe.
I agree, and yet I’m feeling the ‘it’s all you babe’ must be only part of the truth… not the whole truth. There has to be a lot more to this evolution thing. Anyone who evokes the feeling of weariness in me, and triggers the ego’s voice of self-judgment and fault, can’t be ‘talking up’ a full-spectrum spiritual path.
Accepting and loving the imperfect ‘I Am’ brings up the question… have we left the sin concept behind, or is it still subtly operational? Why does a dour mood, a sleepless night, a physical ailment or an empty bank account make me feel like a spiritual warrior failure?