Home Social Engineering The Waiting Y...

The Waiting Young

by -
53 1418

by Kitty

Contributor

I have five children. I am not in any way a fashionable or trendy parent; I don’t want to be one of those mums that hang around with young people because it’s cool – but my children speak to me and I encourage them to do so.

My house is always a place for my children and their friends to stay and just ‘be.’ The conversations we have are often revealing and sometimes so tragic and so full of desperation and despair at how they see their lives, I feel the same desperate need to share this with you so we may begin to understand where we are going with the next generation of potential creators.

I begin with a conversation my mother in law had with a young man she works with, he commented on Drone Wars and said what a good idea it was as the person using the  drone thousands of miles away could kill with little involvement but know he had done a good job! I wanted to know if this was a view shared by all young people; where this had come from. This particular young man is a child of social media only interaction, of Facebook conversations, of Twittering streams of consciousness. This is a child of the impersonal, of the  objectifying and de-humanising of his fellow man including himself. This is a child of endless war games, played out on a games console. The child who cannot distinguish between the real and fantasy world he sees on the screen. I wanted to know why one young man should have appeared to have lost the essence of what makes him human, so I asked my children and their friends. Their responses shocked me both at the depth of their despair and their level of understanding of their world and their innate, but  hidden  spirituality.

These are some of  the conversations we have had, this is their language:

On Drugs and drink – I feel nothing, so I take drugs and I drink to make me feel something, anything, I don’t care. Sometimes it’s better to feel nothing at all  There’s this hole, it is huge I need it to go.  When I’m tripping I feel I touch the sky, the stars, its unreal. I feel that thing; you know? Is it God ? It’s there, I’m lost in it. I’m so chilled.

On Education – Its shit, crap, a lie. The teachers don’t care, why teach me  all this stuff? I’m just a drone. All the exams, the pressure. It’s harsh. Where’s it all going, I wont get a job so who cares any way? I want to make a difference, but its going to be impossible isn’t it? They want me to choose my life when I’m just fourteen.

On Sex – Yeah, its cool. Well, I suppose so. We’re supposed to do it, you know, its what we do isn’t it? I feel pressure, some of it comes from school, the media, its obligatory, its every where. Some of us started watching porn when we were really young, we thought women were like that, but they’re not. That was a shock. Sex is everywhere, its cheap and sells stuff. I want to settle for the real thing.

On Love – I want to love, to be loved, the best ever high. That’s all there is really, there isn’t much of it though. Just look around you, its a joke.

On Parents – They are so busy, they work all the time and I feel lonely. I say to them, “Please speak to me, I’m here.” We don’t talk much, but I’d love it if we did. We don’t get on , they threw me out. I’m nothing but a waste of space and another mouth to feed.

On life – I’m  afraid. I hear and see things that scare me. War, its always there, in the back ground. It’s awful; I suffer from anxiety and I don’t know why. Are we all going to die? Will it be a bomb? Will it hurt me? I want more than anything else to live, to feel something. To feel anything. I feel there is no future; no point to life. So I drink, take drugs; I cut myself, starve myself, I eat too much. Anything to find this thing people are always going on about in films and fairy tales. What am I looking for? I’m so empty, so numb and self destructive. I want children, to be normal, to travel, to have good things in my life. I know there is something more, I feel this so much. I feel we are special, but we don’t know how to be.

This was a final word from one of my sons friends, “Sometimes Kate, when I’m afraid, I put my arms out and I stretch them as far as they can go and I fly. Not really, but I feel this thing flowing through me and I’m flying, I’m there, in a place that’s safe, and then I have no fear at all, it just goes – and I’m happy, because just for that moment I know it’s all going to be okay.”

In the UK our children enter school at the age of four, we like to get them young. It allows both parents to work so they can give our government a huge amount of tax. The other reason our government have now insisted our babies (because they are still babies) start school at such a tender age is to ensure they are inculcated with state rhetoric and diktat. At this age we also begin our program of hyper-sexualising our children by beginning sex education at this age as recommended by the Frankfurt School . We offer ‘wrap around care’, which can  start as early as 6 a.m, and can finish as late as 8 p.m. This is to ensure continuity of care by the state and ensures that parents are working and are too tired to engage fully with and parent their own children.

As our children progress with their ‘education’, they are further educated in the art of sex, in all its different forms. Immunized against sexually transmitted disease they are locked, loaded and ready to go into the murky world of sexual freedom. As per the Frankfurt School they are told there are no absolutes, no good, no evil, just to react how they feel at the time based on their feelings there and then. They are ready for a life of drudgery and compliance by fear.

Our schools are increasingly run by vast corporations. Serco and G4 are just two of these ‘education’ providers. Serco and G4, also provide security and prison facilities for our government and governments world wide. Maximum profitability minimum responsibility the new mantra is now slowly leaking like corrosive battery acid into our schools and poisoning everything it comes into contact with.

During their school week our children are tested again and again almost to destruction, then spewed out dazed and tired. On getting home they often arrive to an empty house or to parents who are also dazed, tired and simply exhausted.

What better way then to keep them quiet or happy than allowing them the freedom to trawl the internet, or to send them on an endless merry go round of things to do – violin, tennis, football, piano, swimming, yoga, painting. The fact that they have in effect spent a day at work doesn’t matter. We must give our children something to do, they must experience all, feel all, they must keep going, just to ‘be’ to exist as those perfect lilies of the field in our frantic world is now not enough and a sign of failure as a parent. Providing things, not our time, is now our ultimate goal in life. We lovingly neglect them.

Our children now indulge in internet friendships – they tweet , use FaceBook, and text, their way through the world. Having 1000 ‘friends’ is common place, texting endlessly is de rigeur, having constant, endless  phone conversations the norm. Yet, for all this there is no communication, no involvement. It would seem our children are connected on a level we have never known before. If that is so, why are teenage suicide levels at an unprecedented level? Why are depression and anxiety levels  soaring, eating disorders now common place. Cutting or self harming not just a trend, but a way to signal distress and pain. Why are they just so very lonely. There is so much poverty of spirit, so much lack.  We know there is an agenda, a Big Pharma, Big corporation, Big Government agenda to invent illnesses to treat with an endless supply of new drugs, an exercise in profit making.  We also know it’s to somatise our children and us into compliance, to finally allow the lunatics to take over the asylum. Spiritual acidity and ultimately spiritual  oblivion or death  is part of this agenda. This problem though is something else, something other than just a collection of agendas. This is so much more important than any of our more temporal agendas.
Our children and young people are, in reality, all we have. It is they who are our saving grace, they are the ones to whom we will pass on the baton to in this race, this amazing journey of discovery we are all on.

Nothing else matters, we can sit, contemplate our navels, meditate, indulge in talk and feel we are getting there, we can call others to action, fight the good fight , grow food, create community, be  awake as much as we like. We can pat ourselves on the back and feel righteous in the’ knowing’ of knowing; but, until we acknowledge our young peoples’ pain, honour their journey, celebrate their innate spirituality and guide them through their Dark Night of the Soul, we are lost. Creation stops. It all ends. We lose. The race is lost, the journey ends.

It’s in our hands, stop, turn, reach out to them in love, they are waiting.

+++

ZenGardner.com

53 COMMENTS

    • I ‘ll have a really good look at this Edna , it is totally Satanic, Demonic I’m sure . Disney cartoons and films are a perfect example of this hideous agenda . There is a truly awful advert on the television at the moment which is actually one of the reasons we rarely watch . My youngest daughter saw it whilst at a friends house and i saw it the next day . it starts with two young children making breakfast for mummy and Daddy , they interupt them ‘wrestling’ in bed . They then cut to mummy and daddy looking flustered and leering into the camera with a look , you know the kind of look I mean ? its in cartoon form and is to advertise a buttery spread . !!
      Its so disgusting so vile I couldn’t believe I was seeing it . No one has complained apparently, I did .But you know sometimes I feel its just me that’s out of cinque . Its crazy . X

      • Watched this Edna , Its happening here too in a big way . Our PHSE (Personal Health Social Education) is used to push a whole raft of agendas . The reason and the only reason for all this is to normalize Pedophilia . The images we see of little girls( and boys) looking like adults is to make us think that they are adults and are ready and willing to engage in this vile perversion. Its a slow process , as most of these ‘processes’ are We are becoming inured to these images and see this as a bit of’ fun’. The beauty pageants are a prime example of this . We will wake up one day and all will be in place. Pedophilia is very cleverly now being associated with other sexual orientations which was the long term plan all along .Under new hate laws recently introduced here and in the US it will be a crime to protest or speak against. During a television interview last year regarding Jimmy Savile our PM, David Cameron , very neatly inserted the word homosexual with the word pedophile , very subtle NLP . There were protests by gay campaigners and he hastily retracted his statement. Just a glimpse into our planned future. Utterly sickening .

  1. Miss Kitty, excellent piece and ever so timely! Our children are the future and that is exactly why they have been hurt and abused by the controllers. Divide and conquer!

    Dr. Gabor Mate’s book “Parents Hold On To Your Kids” is a great read. I have all 5 of his books. You might have already heard of him. I love this man! Have communicated with him via e-mail on several occasions.

    I was a single parent without any financial assistance. Raising my 2 children and working was so very difficult. My guilt would constantly raise up and I would give in to them when I knew it was not in their best interest. Made many, many, many mistakes. Make living amends now as that is all I can do. This is how we change the past. Which changes the future. All in the “Now”!

    Mr. Obama’s recent speech was about getting our children in school by 3 yrs. old. I turned off the TV immediately and could not believe what I had just heard. Voice it to who ever will listen and they think I’m crazy. The responses I get are “well we can go to work”, “gives me some time alone”, on and on. Dr. Mate says just like you have stated that, this is the problem with the break down of families, creates addicts, all kinds of mental problems, etc,etc.

    I pray folks will take heed to what you have penned and take their children and responsibility back from the invaders and terrorists. Love, protect, guide, nurse, befriend and lead their children. Hold on to them, listen to them, make heaven in the homes. Teach them to think critically, fairly and above all with compassion. Thanks Miss Kitty! Hugs, peg

    • Hi Peg ! its lovely you are back ! I miss your words and thoughts.x Thank you for the lovely comment . , I’v had some problems with my kids too, one way or another , I think we all do. Some times I wonder how I’m still sane:) maybe I’m not Lol !! We get through it though , but I know all about that guilt feeling , I think that is just a mum thing , we can never get rid of that . Things for kids are so much harder, and the agenda of as you say family breakdown is huge , once that happens we’re lost . I havn’t read any of Dr Mates books so Iam actually going to look him up when i finish this reply to you , sounds good . Love and hugs Peg XX Kitty

      • Oh my gosh, I watched the video Edna put up too! Shocking so very shocking. THEY are really coming after our kids, the future! It appears to me THEY are going to commotitize our children! Oh my gosh! Going to go see my granddaughters this weekend and read this together with them and also show them the video Edna put up. 17yrs. old and 15 (soon to be 16). We are going to have a nice, beautiful, heartfelt, truthful day! I need to go get centered as I’m shaking all over right now. Bye! Hugs, peg

  2. I teach in a public school and definitely experience everything the author says with my students. I teach seniors who are about to leave and I see so much self-sabotage and Stockholm syndrome. It’s crazy but I do my best to aid the awakening because they are the future.

    • Good for you Brittany , teachers like you are such a rarity now .To some kids who come from hard and difficult back grounds they can be a life saver, literally. I know so many good people who have gone into teaching with the intent to change the system and make a difference . The’ system’ has either changed them, or ,they have become so disillusioned with the endless interference from government and parents and the’ everyone’s a teacher’ mantra , they leave . So sad for both the teacher and the child who will miss their positive influence . Kitty XX

  3. Love the moccasin on the ground perspective Kitty … very real and in your face stuff that parents have to deal with .. as Peg Pointed out its is a Divide and conquer right down to the family core ..
    Great work .. well done ..never medium rare ! :-)

    • Thanks Peak , your thoughts mean a lot :) Peg is so right , it is divide and conquer . We just have to stay strong and speak our truth , never give up especially on our kids .XX

  4. Well, I know of five kids that are going to be all right!

    The barrage of tests that kids face these days is all about schools hitting their targets – nothing else. I told mine to just try their best to pass English, Maths and Science and not to worry about anything else whatsoever. (I told this to some teachers at Parent’s Evening and they were both shocked and impressed.) I gave them my full permission to ‘fail’ at any other subject they didn’t like. Takes a lot of pressure off them.

    We mustn’t forget either that the great switch-on (or switch-off) that is puberty, marks the beginning of what is often the most painful (and exhilarating) few years of our lives – whatever the era. I explained to mine just before it happened, or just as it had began, that they were going to go through a few years that might feel like a long tunnel, and that they would feel all sorts of emotions, ‘good’ and ‘bad’, and that if they were horrible to me (he, he), it was not their fault – it was their hormones. They appreciated this chat.

    My advice to older teenagers would be to find a way to travel.

  5. Thank’s Indie , we seem to have similar ideas ! I’v always been very open with my kids and just like you explained about puberty and all that teenage angst The boys ! the heady scent of testosterone , wow !!
    Three boys, one husband and an oversexed boy cat Lol !!! Happy days !
    I also had the chat about their school exam results , and said pretty much the same thing so no pressure as you said . They all did well , but all of them are aiming to give it all up and travel !! One of them has just started on his adventure and I’m thrilled , I’v told them all, in the future travel will be probably restricted to a small group of people and to get out there . Once my little birds have flown the nest , Mr Dog and I will be off too !!
    XXx Kitty

    • I had a wonderful loving mom Kitty and although she had her apprehensions when I wanted to travel after graduating she encouraged me to follow my heart. Had she lived she would be 80 tomorrow.

      Sounds like your kids have a real classy lady for a mum!! Lots of love to you! Will

      • Thank you so much Will, your mom sounds lovely and very special . I have my apprehensions too , one of my’ big ‘boys is off to India next week , but I know it will be a life changing experience for him . I cant wait to hear all about his adventures !! Kitty XX

  6. Thank you so much Kitty. I sometimes feel that I have failed my girl in not giving her more of a spiritual beacon of example to follow. Then out of the blue one day she will sit down and start revealing her feelings and thoughts on the world. Like these young people, it’s in there-the knowing. That is when I know she will be o.k. She recently switched to an open learning type of classroom where she learns at her own pace trying to finish high school. She was failing everything in the traditional system and got very anxious and depressed. Now she has happy days and is excelling although she still thinks the subject matter is ‘stupid’.
    We have never pressured her for excellence in education because we tend to agree with her assessment of the subject matter. She too wants to travel and see the world and I encourage her to do that. She wants to paint and do photography not calculus and dangling participles. Teach them the role that Love, kindness, and empathy have in the world, let them be who they are and I think they are going to be alright. No mama would ever give up on her babies and I agree that there are 5 (+1) children that are going to thrive in this world. Love

    • Fantastic Laurie , your daughter is so lucky to have you , encouraging her to follow her heart is the way to go . If only this is the way all parents thought , our world would be a heaven here on this earth . Teaching our kids about the importance of love, compassion and empathy for others can surely be the only way. Calculus and dangling participles lol ! Why would any one need to know about these things ? it even sounds silly . Don’t they surprise us though with their depth of understanding and cant they just get straight to the important bits of life , these young people amaze me . My youngest has now decided that she wants to do art and too !! Sounds like we’v got 6 children well on their way :) XX

  7. Me too, Kitty. Teaching myself Spanish at the moment in preparation.

    I feel sorry for teenagers; they get such a bad rep. But it is the system that has failed them. They are just as bright and capable as any generation, but have not been allowed to blossom. I feel sorry for them that they feel so pressured, when they just need to know it is not necessary to get 15 GCSEs at A*. Five Cs in the basics is good enough for anyone, unless they’re planning on going to university.

    I’m sure a lot of them would feel more secure if they were warned what to expect emotionally throughout the teenage years, and to be told it is ‘normal’, and that everybody else their age is going through exactly the same turbulence, no matter how ‘cool’ their veneer. I never had many heart-to-hearts with mine, but I remember telling them that I would always love them no matter what they threw at me, but to remember that I am only human, too. Then I battened down the hatches!

    It is a shame that we expect so much of them at a time when they have zero hindsight and are changing beyond all recognition. Spare a thought for all teenagers (sniff, sniff).

    • You did make me smile Indie , I battened down the hatches too . I remember trying to tell number 2 and number 3 sons I was human too , mmm , blank looks, followed by hysterical laughter !!! A teenage tag team of Kevin’s was a good description . They are now lovely as most teenagers are :) It seems the world will soon be taken over by travelling Gardner’s . We all seem to be going to Spanish speaking countries too ! What a fabulous thought! X

  8. Wonderful post, full of truth and sadness.
    We’ve got to get the kids away from their electronic gadgets and back to nature. Community gardens, nature walks, animal rights is a wonderful thing for young people to be involved in. They need to be fired up and their energy directed towards a positive cause they get their teeth into!
    Love you, Kitty.

  9. I agree Elva , they do need guidance into the right things . they always rise to the occasion too . The problem here in the UK now is we have demonised and scapegoated our children as the cause of all our social problems . Bridges need to be built between our young people and an increasingly fearful older generation. Community gardens , animal rights, all these things bring people together especially animal rights . It’s something that is increasingly moving the young to action and its wonderful to see . KittyXX

  10. This is as real as it gets Kitty. Such an honest and lucid account of where we headed in our abdication of our young to the system. Of my three teenagers, its very telling how my youngest comprehends the most of what’s being done to us. The older they get, the harsher the pressure to choose their place, their poison. As you so sternly pointed out, these are the next wave of co-creators, and they are so jaded and encapsulated. It’s no wonder that the West has to foist this shit on the rest of the world at the barrel of a gun.

    • Hi Scooter , I agree with you it’s the older ones who get so pressured to enter this world we created for them . The strange thing is of all the groups we divide ourselves into , its the aspirant 30 somethings that are the most unaware or who try not to be awake . These are the career builders, first time mortgage holders child bearers. They are totally caught up in everything that go’s with the territory , they are consumers being consumed by their need to belong to the system . Tough nuts to crack , we’v all been there , it’s all so seductive shiny and safe . The controllers of the system absolutely know they have them totally , stepping out of that is so very hard and it hurts !!
      I can totally understand why our Western Hellenised mindset and values are regarded as being decadent and corrupt by much of the rest of the world , and we call them uncivilized ! What a joke . Kitty X

      • “Consumers be consumed” and “seductive, shiny and safe”. When our you going to get your own radio program Kitty or at least an audio blog! You’re like a human scalpel. Hugs ;-)

  11. I understand what you’re trying to say here, but this isn’t always the case. My mum is at home, and i can talk to her about things, but i simply don’t want to. We tend to not get along because she has this strong hold over me, she can tell me what to do, and fair enough thats what parents should do to ‘guide’ us but i just find it really restraining and i hate that. I guess it depends on the child though, because i consider myself independant and her putting bans on social sites and taking my phone and not letting me do things like sex ed infuriates me not because everyone else does it (or atleast i dont think its because of that- maybe its deeply embedded in my brain and i don’t notice) but because i know i am ready for it all and they won’t let me go for it. I think too many people think that ALL us kids are more easily influenced than adults, and is that really true? i mean, there might be fewer of us than adults that are waking but we still ARE and yes, we can take on what they have to throw at us as YOU do and still keep our heads straight :/

    • Hi A school kid, its good to hear another, different perspective . You say you don’t want to talk to your mum , that’s fine , my kids do as do their friends . I work with a lot of kids on a voluntary basis and they talk to me because some have no one else . Everyone is different
      Perhaps your mum is worried about you or trying to protect you, it’s her job , i say that to my kids . I’m quite liberal in my parenting style but I set boundaries too , you are obviously loved .otherwise you wouldn’t have all these boundaries .
      As an adult or just as me I don’t think all young people are easily influenced at all . Quite honestly they amaze me and I usually learn more from them than the other way round. i respect them.
      You sound wide awake, and ready to take on anything !! you have a great attitude :) It’s hard for all of us though, adult or young person to keep our heads straight sometimes . Its often a really nasty world out there and life is tough . You and your generation are the new world so we feel we have to keep you safe , its all about surviving . XKitty

  12. Kitty this article is such an honest truth of something so ugly. If we ever need a barometer to gauge the amount of disconnection that has pervaded the younger generations, we only need to hear their perspectives. Too many of these western civiie kids have been tossed aside, rocking along on their own with such little guidance from strangers who don’t give a hoot damn or dirty sock on the outcome.

    Public education is just a processing plant for potential jail inmates, joblessness, or at best entering the hive workforce.

    When I wanted to teach guitar lessons in our home for children who had the “want to”, my wife discouraged me from doing so. She said: “Remember you stopped little league coaching because the parents were so wigged out…..do you really want to put us at risk with some crazy parent?” Point taken.

    Gr8 piece here Kitty. You are a Jewel! ;)

  13. Thank You Randall ! X I know now its so hard to do anything just out of loving kindness and to be helpful .
    Working as a volunteer with young people and very young children I was always( and still am) appalled at the rules regarding these young people. Hands always above waist level , never hug directly, always at an angle . Always have a witness when administering first aid , the list go’s on . crazy !! Since the Children Act here in the UK, kids are so aware of their rights its terrifying , now , all adults are abusers and potential pedophiles . All part of the bigger agenda of’ normalizing’ pedophilia . We now have a generation of terrified parents pandering to the needs of an increasingly spoilt generation of little princes and princesses and yes the parents are wigged out , the lunatics have definitely taken over the asylum . !!! LOl , gotta laugh sometimes .
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aItpjF5vXc

  14. Sounds eerily similar to what I experienced as a youngster.
    Lyric from a tune called Sunday….
    Everything has changed
    For in truth, it’s the beginning of nothing
    And nothing has changed
    Everything has changed
    For in truth, it’s the beginning of an end
    And nothing has changed
    And everything has changed

  15. My spouse and I have a 7 year old boy. We “homeschool.” We both work part time, thus we scarcely have a dime to spend on anything other than rent/food/gas. But we both know that our time/attention/involvement is the best thing we can give our child and thus the world.

    Still, it’s not a paradise. He whines, moans, hollers, throws violent tantrums, won’t eat vegetables, looks up “boobies” on Pinterest when we’re washing the dishes, bedtime is like a war every night, the “whole 9-yards.”

    I aint gonna give up, though. I’m not going to escape into careerism and money-chasing.
    I want to be exhausted as hell by the time he’s 17. I’m going to give him all I can.

  16. With you all the way Adam , home schooling my 14 year old , it doesn’t get any better LOL !! ( kidding really) :) Its the best thing ever !!
    Your little boy sounds just like my 3 boys were , normal, exasperating ,tiring wonderful, full of the joys of life .Just being a boy :)
    Reading your comment is inspiring , you are amazing parents . If only all children had parents like you . Your little boy is truly blessed to have you . To be honest I’m quite overwhelmed by what you have written .
    All I can do is send you love , your little boy is going to have an amazing future . Kitty XXX

  17. I loved your writing Kitty, it gave me goosebumps reading it. So very well done on many levels.
    You gonna write another one?
    xXx

    • Thank you Susan ! So many things have happened since I wrote this . I broke my laptop for one :( .
      My youngest daughter is ill so I have to deal with that every day . However …… lol ! I now have three in the process of being written , you know what they say about buses …… One of the articles I’m in the process of writing is very personal and I hope will challenge everyone here to suspend their’ disbelief’ . we will see :)
      I like to go with the flow generally and now is the time so , I hope you like the next three !! They have been inspired by all these lovely’ Wonderers ‘, and some of the comments you made as well XXX Kitty

  18. Sorry to hear about your daughter, hope it’s nothing too serious and she gets well soon!! X

    Writing from a personal point of view takes courage and unconsciously or consciously (depending on your viewpoint) gives other people the sense that it’s really ok for them to do the same. To speak about and share their own truths. Its SO important that we do this, I can’t stress it enough!
    Really looking forward to reading your next articles, I just know I will enjoy reading them.

    I love the interactive feel of this site, it’s quite unique in the way you can firstly read a wide variety of topics then discuss what you’ve read with like minded people in the comments! I’ve learned so much from the comments too :-)
    I also like the no nonsense approach, if you don’t believe or get what this site is all about in essence, then you’re probably in the wrong place. Also, inspite of the fact that many of the articles are serious in nature and there is a real sense of a need to be vigilant, there are also streams of humour flowing in and out and around. Thank god, as they go a long way towards keeping us sane.

    You go girl!
    Much love
    Susan x

  19. Hi Susan , thank you for your lovely thoughts !
    My daughter is recovering from Anorexia , we have been quite open about it so it’s okay !
    We have the darkest sense of humour sometimes , very British :) and it’s got us through it all .
    This site is remarkable , I see it as the only one on the internet that has this ethos of loving others and being encouraging to all .
    There is loads of humour , the’ boy ‘ humour is hilarious , girl stuff too ! JC cracks me up, so funny .
    I love people to be real too and revealing our inner self is so important ,and here there is nothing to fear . It’s okay to be yourself and everyone contributes and is equally valued .
    It really is a beautiful flourishing garden and I have learned so much too . In fact I find it so amazing that people have such deep thoughts and loving hearts yet think of themselves as ordinary :)
    I’m hoping to send Zen the first of my articles next week , still decorating .
    Not quite as high as a kite now on paint fumes!
    Should be finished later then it’s Pimms O’clock
    for me I think Lol !! Much love Kitty XXX

  20. Good on you Kitty for telling it like it is. The pressures our youngsters have to deal with today are more intense compared to when we were that age, can you blame them for ‘acting out’ when so much around us feels wrong within society?
    I know so many young people with this tricky problem, a greater number of boys are emerging now with anorexia/bulimia. Dam all these magazines, peer pressure and so called celebs who promote and dictate what size we should be!

    Your girl has Kitty get your rifle for a mother! I’m guessing she’s gonna be absolutely fine. :-)
    This too shall pass.

    Stay strong
    Much love
    Susan x

  21. Susan , you’re so lovely . I think we would have fun if we lived closer to each other .
    My little one only started to starve herself after prolonged bullying . The only other kid in her school with anorexia was … a boy !! So , very much a disease of either sex . It’s now becoming more common in the divorced over sixties ! My daughter now calls herself the only anorexic in the village !!
    You have to be a Brit to get that one lol !!
    Thank you for all your encouragement , it really does make a difference . I know she will be okay , this too will pass , love that, one of my favourite sayings , just what granny used to say to me :) much love XXX

    • Thank you Kitty and ditto!
      The only anorexic in the village! Love it, but she probably wasn’t. People tend not to talk about these things and god knows why. We all have a story to tell and humour goes such a long way when dealing with the more difficult challenges.
      Yes I think we would get on like a house on fire, have a right good laugh and some great discussions. You don’t live that far away, maybe we will meet up at some point.
      Do you use fb? Please feel free to get my email from Zen or admin, anytime.

      Thank you for making me feel so welcome when I first joined on here, and to Zen and Elle too. This website has contributed towards me accepting my own mindset without the words weird, conspiracy theorist, or alarmist floating around.

      xXx

      • Actually you’re right , there are a couple around us . We were the first and only ones ‘ to come out’ as it were .But …..no surprise ended up as the talk of the village. Our psychiatrist told us we would get a lot of flak , but to be honest I don’t really care , most people do it to deflect attention from their own problems .
        I don’t have FB but I’ll ask Zen to send you my email or vice versa . I’m glad you feel welcome here , i did when I first started here too .
        Zen has been a life saver for me as well , I know now I’m not the only weirdo, conspiracy theorist in the village either lol !! xxx

  22. OK Kate…….
    Here I go.
    Like you, my children are the center of my life. With this next generation, my kids, it certainly was a turn around of thinking.
    In my growing up, we were more on our own. Come home from school. Call a friend and play till it was dinner time. called normal interaction.
    My kids generation was all about, come home and what have my parents got planned for me. Baseball, Soccer, Ice hockey, Piano lessons, gymnastics and on an on. Parents both working and extra curricular was the babysitting service, so parents could take a break, or…..just do the things they really needed to do to keep their family together. And this is called planned interaction. Another words, you don’t pick your friends. We pick them for you and if you don’t get along tough it out.
    I saw more kids crying in little league because their parents said to themselves, “Something I always wanted to do and couldn’t so now my kid will fill in the blank I couldn’t fill. And while I’m shopping for groceries because I’ve worked all day, I’ll show up 30 minutes after the game and make the coach sit.
    So…..Like you…..I gave these friends of my children a haven. Where they could be themselves and there weren’t the parent police pointing fingers and CALLING the police.
    I knew what they were doing and it wasn’t always “politically correct”, but what does that mean? I wanted to keep them safe.
    I think I did a good job. It doesn’t mean that some of them didn’t fall off the wagon. To my knowledge today, those friends of my kids, are still kicking and not in jail.
    I was the shrink, so to speak. I was willing to listen and I didn’t ask too many questions. The kids could feel comfortable with me. I hope I had some impact on them.
    And they taught me a lot.
    One of my boys was a real handful, but you stick with them hell or high water and that is what Family is all about.
    Ms. Kitty, you are doing it right.
    P

  23. Hi Pam , we are the same , My eldest daughter was an absolute nightmare . Of all the wonderful things you have just written , this is the one that made my heart sing .
    ‘You stick with them come hell or high water ,
    That’s what family is all about ‘ Yes !! A million times yes , it’s the only way . You got it too Pam, life would be so different if everyone loved unconditionally like you do . Kitty XXX

    • Kitty, love is a hard word to understand. It’s not just the Lovey Dovey, though that may come first. It is the commitment that comes after The I’m here no matter what.
      Kitty did your daughter make it through? I bet she’s a lot like you. My nightmare boy is a lot like me and he made it, but we still butt heads from time to time. Arguments have now turned into heated discussions. He is one of my pride and joys.
      I love the article you wrote. Good stuff.
      Thank you P

      • I agree Pam , love is not all lovey dovey or hearts and flowers . It’s often tough searching and painful, and like you say commitment . But so worth it !
        My daughter did come out the other end .
        We are so alike , in many ways . We still have our dis agreements , but my daughter sees me as a fellow woman now , not just as mom , and I now understand. the reasons for her previously wild behaviours so we connect on a different level .
        Lots of discussions like you and your son , but now as equals .
        My daughter is my pride and joy too , she has turned into such a wise compassionate young woman . Every tear and all the pain has been worth it and I would go through it all again and for any of my kids . :
        Glad you liked the article , much love , Kate X

      • I think we all have some spunky kids, and it’s good. They need to stand strongly on their own with rooted knowledge and confidence that they’ve arrived at on their own. But our guidance is so important. Sometimes it’s just being who we are when the words aren’t sinking in.

        • We do Zen ! and I wouldn’t have it any other way ! My job has just been to stop them hurting themselves too much , always being there ,with loads if love then watching them fly !!
          Best job I’ll ever have , nothing like it !
          X

  24. Class act Pam. Giving kids a safe haven to have a voice is so big hearted of you. They remember when they grow up what they learned from you and will be grateful, and if not, you did your bit which is more than some.

    Much love
    Susan x

    • Susan,
      With my children’s generation, I did what I needed to do. My kids were crazier than I could have ever imagined in my youth.
      Drugs played a big part in this craziness and the drugs of today make the drugs of my generation look like Sparklers verses Firecrackers.
      Big heart? I don’t know. Those days I felt like I was having many heart attacks.
      With Love
      Pam

  25. Hi Pam,
    That’s all you can do really, the best you can. I know what you mean about kids pushing new boundaries compared to what we were like.

    My daughter gave me my head in my hands to play with for a few years when she was a teenager. She went through this meltdown phase where she was raging at the world for not being what she thought it would be, and of course took it out on me. Not so much her Dad but me!

    It got crazy like I couldn’t believe. She went from taking it out on me and her dad to taking it out on herself, drinking way too much and drugs I’d never even heard of. Jeez I got so scared, I tear up every time I remember how it was.
    I realised instead of trying to Make her better or somehow make up for the state of society (lol) I had to deliver some extra tough love for the first time.
    I sent her to live with her Dad. Funny, she got angry at him then! But I gave her a clear message, figure it out for yourself, I cant do it for you and while you’re at it, show me some deserved respect. It worked but it felt like shit. I missed her :-(

    But like you and Kitty’s examples she’s come out the other side, she’s a woman now. Things can still be a little frosty mostly on her side, but that’s ok. She phoned me from Europe a few days ago to say she missed me, when I asked if she meant my cooking, makeup, clothes etc, she made me smile when she said no mum, you, for who you are. Aww bless xx She’s a feisty lil shit but she’s My lil shit.

    Thankfully my boys are calmer, more accepting of life and its trials and tribulations. But I think that’s because I’m calmer and more confident than I was.

    Pam, you might not agree with a big heart, I hear you, I would say a brave heart may be more apt, for all 3 of us women!

    Great comments and conversation.

    Much love to you all

  26. Just found your post – It would be funny if you came back here after 4 months and saw this – but sending love and encouragement anyway – such a heart-felt predicament –

    My two are now 28/30 years old boy/girl. On the right road – happy to say – savy enough to see the lie – most of the time!

  27. Julian , just saw this four months after writing it !! No internet recently so I have literally just got onto Zen again . Thank you for the encouragement and love , always welcome . :) my kids are okay too, most of the time ! I have noticed that there is ‘something ‘ happening with these young people and on a large scale . It seems eyes are being opened and ears are hearing , so, very exciting !! The situation in the Ukraine, Israel and the’ incidents ‘with the two Malaysian planes have started a thirst for more understanding of the world around them in the group of young people I work with and know on a more personal level . There is also a heightened sense of compassion for the ‘other’ which is very encouraging .
    Many of them are visitors here too !! Kitty X

Leave a Reply